Sleep is for the weak!

What is it with my OH that he can just fall asleep anywhere and within about 1 minute of closing his eyes? Even as I sit here writing this, he is sat at the other end of the sofa fast asleep, and, maybe even more annoying, snoring!!! Grrrrr!

Not only that, he is not the one who gets up in the night to see to Burton if he wakes up, or gets woken up early in the morning by him and then has to get up and start their day. Yet the OH usually dozes on the sofa in the evenings and at the weekend usually grabs forty winks in the afternoons! Whereas even though I am shattered pretty much everyday I don't get naps. Don't get me wrong, I know he works hard at his job 5 days a week and it is fairly stressful but my job is 24/7!!!

You may be thinking well more fool you, as you could while Burton has his afternoon sleep. But you see when he naps I like to get some jobs done like cleaning, prepping meals or sometimes just sit down with a cuppa and tweet for a bit. Even in the first few weeks of having Burton, despite being told to get some sleep when he did during the day, I found I was not able to relax enough, even though I was very tired from having to feed every 2 hours day and night, to actually sleep and again I got jobs done instead. However, someone still managed to get some zzzzz's in during Burton's first week at home!




I remember that after giving birth to Burton, having been awake for more than 48 hours by the time we got taken up to the ward, I could not sleep while I waited for the doctor to come and check him before we could leave. However, who do you think did mange to get some kip? I know he been awake all night but not for as long as me!! Here is the proof:




I guess that I just have better stamina? Or better still I am a woman and a Mummy and I have to just get on with things!! Oh well, soon be bedtime!

Still Lost

I have just watched the highly anticipated finale to Lost - possibly one of the greatest TV dramas ever made. For six years viewers have watched the plight of the remaining Oceanic Flight 815 passengers, as they struggle to get off the island and ultimately understand all that they have experienced.

I have not spent the last six years watching Lost as I only started seeing it for the first time last year, thanks to buying the first five seasons from iTunes. I was hooked straight away and have enjoyed it immensely; getting to know the various characters and trying to understand what it all means.

With the arrival of season six I have been watching it with even more excitement and interest, knowing that these episodes would be leading up to the finale, and waiting each week for possible answers to all of the questions that the show poses. After each episode I would spend a few hours analysing all that I had just seen trying to make sense of it.

Like everyone else I had my own theories about what Lost was really all about, and how it would end in order to explain everything that had taken place up to that point. I also knew that it would be impossible for the finale to answer all the questions that we viewers had, because there were just too many. This I accepted - after all being a TV drama you have to allow a certain amount of poetic licence with the storyline. However, I did expect some kind of explanation to be given otherwise why did it's creators introduce so many weird and wonderful moments?

So I watched the final ever episode with a mixture of excitement and sadness, but also hope for a satisfactory conclusion. However, having now seen how it ended, I have to admit that I feel a little disappointed. Maybe even let down by the team behind the programme for not being braver and really giving us an ending that matched the rest of the Lost events that had occurred.

Let's be honest, I am sure I am not the only one who had already wondered if infact the characters were actually dead, not surviving the crash, and were living out their state of purgatory through the six seasons ( would also explain why Hurley could see dead people - bit like the kid in Sixth Sense ). With a surname of Shepherd I also thought that Jack would end up being the one who would be end up having to look after the island. I also pondered early on in the show whether or not the basis of the show was about peoples faith - religious faith or just faith in other people. Clearly the programme had an underlying religious theme with the frequent religious references, eg. the use of black and white ( the stones) good vs evil ( Jacob vs MIB and maybe these two characters even meaning god vs the devil ) the smoke monster vs the healing powers of the island etc... .But I also thought this theory was far too obvious for such a clever and original show, and I kept looking for a far more complicated explanation to the meaning of Lost. Sadly I was wrong :-(

The finale was gripping and must see television, don't get me wrong, but because I was expecting something more, once the credits came up on my screen,I felt gutted that was how six years of Lost came to an end. Bit of a cop out maybe? It was great to see the Losties reunited and happy, and at last they were able to understand what happened to them. Lets face it,after all they had been through they deserved closure and a happy ever after (even if it happened when they were dead and after a long time in limbo!)

But what about the Lost fans and our understanding of it? I am still not 100% certain whether or not the characters died when the plane crashed, or whether they did survive and what we witnessed did happen to them and some died along the way and some died after. I guess that is up to us the audience to make sense of. I do feel that a lot more questions were left unanswered than I was expecting - too many unfortunately, and although I would have liked more of them explained, I guess it is up to me to decide what it all meant. With it having so many complex layers, maybe there was never meant to be a clear conclusion to Lost. Just like the mysteries I feel were not explained within the show, Lost will remain a mystery too.

Despite my disappointment though, the ending does not take way my overall enjoyment of the show because it was ruddy brilliant (Even though I feel that the ending I came up with was better, which I won't go into because it is too complicated to explain lol).

Therefore, in the words of Christian Shepherd I "must let go and move on" and accept Lost the finale for what it was, and even though I am still a bit Lost I am also glad to have watched such a brilliant programme. What will I get my teeth into now? Well I suppose I could watch it all over again!

Potty Mummy @ Mummy Mishaps Guest Post Day : Fridge Busters

Part of Erica's Guest Post Day part 2 over at Little Mummy. This is where Potty Mummy and I have swapped blogs to each post a piece on each others posts!

Hi. My name’s Potty Mummy, and this is the inside of my fridge.

Not a sentence I ever thought I would say, let alone write, but blogging can take you to some interesting places, it seems...

A bit of background first. I’m an early 40’s British woman, mother to two boys aged 6 and 4, wife to a Russophile Dutchman, and who was transplanted from South Kensington, London, to Moscow, Russia, at the beginning of this year. I’m still trying to make sense of being of a first time expat, and fully expect that I’ll crack it just about the same time we board the airplane to head home again. I’ve been blogging for 3 years now, and by the time I realised that I might – on occasion – actually have to introduce myself in person as my blog name – Potty Mummy – it was too late and I was stuck with it. (Just in case you were wondering what kind of an idiot would saddle herself with a name like that, and all...)

Enough about me, anyway. Let’s take a look at the inside of the fridge which will probably tell you a lot more about my life here than I realised when I told Mummy Mishaps that I thought this was a great topic to do a blog swap about....

Let’s see. The Anatomy of an Expat’s Fridge...Note, children,

the sparkling condition of said fridge. Note the tidy rows and organised way that the fridge is stacked. Note the...

Oh, crap. Obviously it’s none of those things. What you see instead is my half-hearted attempt at recreating the sort of healthy eating regime I took for granted whilst living in London but which takes a little more organisation now we’re so far from home, Toto. So, for example, the 3 blue cartons (one in the door, two on their sides on the 4th shelf down in the fridge, represent but a small part of the milk mountain currently in existence chez Potty. Milk, you see, is a rare commodity in Russia. Well – drinkable milk is, at any rate. Whenever an expat comes across the brand you see in our fridge she (for it is invariably a ‘she’ who thinks that far ahead) is driven to stockpile it in the freezer because you can bet your bottom dollar it won’t be at the supermarket on her next visit...

What else?

You might be surprised by the lack of fresh vegetables on display. That is because – to my spoiled western consumer eyes, at any rate – there really aren’t that many available outside of farmers markets here at this time of year. What, you didn’t think they had farmers markets here? I would do all my vegetable shopping at them but the nearest one is a 30 minute walk away and whilst that’s all fine and dandy on the way there in the sunshine, the way back weighed down by 5 kilo bags of potatoes (which, of course, you can buy at the afore-mentioned supermarket and transport home by car) is less fun. So most of our fresh vegetables are with the most of our milk – in the freezer.

We aren’t only eating western-branded and western style food, of course. Look closely and you might notice a jar of pickled gherkins in the fridge door (yes, I know they have them in MacDonald’s, but still, Russian originally. Really.) There is also the odd tub of Smetana (soured cream, great for putting through pasta with ham and convincing the kids it’s a poor man’s version of spaghetti carbonara – so shoot me), some red onions hidden away in the vegetable drawer (for all the borscht I never make), and on the 3rd shelf down from the top, peeking coyly around the edge of a tub of incredibly Russian feta cheese, that Russian staple food, Heinz tomato ketchup.

You might also – if you have very sharp eyesight - notice a jar of contraband English Provender Company Tomato Pickle on shelf 3, which my younger son loves more than life and which we can’t leave home without. No visitor from home is allowed through the door without first coming up with a couple of jars. Or a bottle or two of wine (funnily enough, one of those is ALSO on shelf 3), which whilst it is widely available here, is mostly very expensive and almost as often not very good. Duty Free does very well out of expats returning to Moscow after business trip to Europe, I promise.

And that’s pretty much it. There is other stuff in there too, of course there is, but let’s not go into the bowls of leftovers (from far too long ago, probably) and the beer – still waiting forlornly for someone to drink it at one of our bbq’s because everyone prefers to drink the wine that’s been brought in from Duty Free. That’s what you learn as an expat, I suppose, and not only in relation to drinkable wine: you have to take your chances where you can. What with that, the milk, and bread, (didn’t I mention the bread?), whoever said life as an Expat was easy?

For more thoughts from Potty Mummy, check out http://potty-diaries.blogspot.com/

The Gallery : Friendship

This week's Gallery theme over at Tara's Sticky Fingers blog is entitled Friendship .

I have a handful of friends who I know I can turn to who have been there for me through thick and thin and I know will be there till the end. We have shared good times and bad, and I feel thankful to have these special people I call my friends in my life.

Here is a poem by Emily Bronte entitled Love & Friendship, the words of which are very true:

Love is like the wild rose-briar,

Friendship like the holly-tree

The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms

But which will bloom most constantly?

The wild-rose briar is sweet in the spring,

Its summer blossoms scent the air;

Yet wait till winter comes again

And who will call the wild-briar fair?

Then scorn the silly rose-wreath now

And deck thee with the holly's sheen,

That when December blights thy brow

He may still leave thy garland green.

I would like to dedicate this weeks Gallery entry to my friend Kimberly, who I have been friends with now for almost 24 years. She is an amazing person - she has the biggest smile which lights up a room and her laugh is infectious; she is such a beautiful woman.

We became best friends at school - I had just moved to Devon and started at a new school but she and I soon hit it it off. In fact I think I stayed for 4 Saturday nights in a row at her house when we first became friends - nothing to do with the fact that her Mum worked at a bakery back then and used to bring lots of cakes home!!

She is such a great friend that she was present at the birth of my son last July. Kimberly is currently training to be a midwife, but I would have asked her even if she was not, because I knew she would be fantastic and she was. Near the time of having to 'puuuush' she was telling me some jokes that we used to find funny at school - they may not have seemed quite so amusing at that point but I appreciated the sentiment! Lets face it she has seen me at my worse and my best now. After Burton was born, she even helped shower and dress me - what a star :-)

Here she is with me and Burton shortly after he was born:

here we are outside of a maternity room taken a couple of years ago at another friend's wedding - we always have such a good time together. This is how I see Kimberly - one big smile :-)

So Kimberly, this is to say thank you for being you and for always being there when I need you. Thank you for being my friend. Love you xx

Writing Workshop : Summer

This is my first week of participating in Josie's Writing Workshop over at Sleep is for the Weak.

I chose summer as my prompt following these instructions from Josie:

This week YOU are going to come up with a prompt. I’m going to give you five words or phrases to help you get started. Think of a prompt based around that word or phrase, write a post based on your prompt. So for example the first word I’m going to give you is “Summer”, so your prompt could be “My memories of Summer as a child”. Get it?

So I thought that as it has been years since I wrote a poem, I would give writing one ago (oooh er!), and with the weather being so beautiful at the moment I chose the prompt of summer. I wanted to describe how it makes me feel inside, the sense of well being it evokes and how much pleasure it brings to us all to see the and feel the warm sun. It's as if summer is a magical season, because sunny days make people feel happy, more relaxed and at peace with themselves. It also brings people together in outdoor social gatherings from BBQ's to festivals to beer gardens. For me, it also brings back memories of summers past; of my childhood and my family and friends - all of which are happy times.

Summer Magic

Sunlight sparkles all around me,

like diamonds shiny and new.

Dancing sunbeams pirouette

casting shadows where they fall.

I lie down on daisy clad grass

arms outstretched, eyes closed;

happy summer memories come back.

Blue skies deep like an ocean,

scantilly clad with fluffy clouds.

Shimmery rays caress my skin

wrapping me in sunny euphoria.

Children's laughter fills the hazy air;

new summer memories being made.

The glowing sun starts to set

and the twilight sky erupts,

ablaze with vibrant colours

its final incandescence unveiled.

Like a work of art hung in a gallery,

it paints the beauty of mother nature.

The world seems a better place

when the golden sun luminates!

Heady days are here once more;

magical summer days.

Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time......

I would like to thank the ever so saucy Jaymee at Kookoocachu for tagging me in a meme entitled:

So here are 5 things I have done in my life which seemed like a good idea at the time:

1. When I was about 7 years old there was an Olde English Sheepdog (like the Dulex dog - have to watch how I spell that word LOL!) who lived at the bottom of our road. One night after school whilst out playing with some other kids, I decided to approach the dog and stroke it. Unfortunately the dog leapt up at me and 'bit' me over my left eye! There was a lot of blood and a mad rush to get me to the hospital but luckily it was just a cut above my eye and it did not affect my eyesight. Needless to say, petting that cuddly looking dog was not a good idea afterall.

2. During my 1st year at uni I thought it would be a good idea to go to the pub before one of my classes - you know how it is, sunny day, bottle after bottle of cider were calling my name and forcing me to drink them! Anyway about 6 bottles later (I think it was Woodpecker cider if memory serves me right!) I made my way to my film studies class - I must have been stinking ha ha. I did manage to stay for the whole 2 hours - even tho I must have popped out to the loo about 4 times and kept giggling at random times! Hmmmm note to self - don't get drunk before a lesson it is hard going to sound intelligent when you are slurring your words and stinking like a pub! Plus alcohol and sitting through film clips = hard to keep eyes open near end of the lesson!

3. I once snogged my first boyfriends brother when he was sleeping off a night of drinking upstairs!! It turned out that his brother had fancied me first but did not get chance to ask me out before Tom did. It also explained why Rob always acted weird around me whenever I was at their house. Anyway, all we did was snog and there may have been possible rubbing off my breast area and his shorts area (!). Anyway, I cannot remember now how Tom found out but when he did it was not good - 2 brothers fighting over me!!! Hmm, getting off with boyfriend brother - definately not a good idea!

4. Getting so drunk that you wake up the next morning and cannot remember how you got home and some of the things that happened the night before! This used to be quite a regular occurance - usually as a result of not eating before a night out!! I have not done this for quite a few years now but in my early 20's this happened a lot! There are just too many stories I could share but BIG lesson I learnt here - know your limits! So not eating before night out and downing too many drinks (and usually doing really stupid things whilst under the influence) not a good idea, even though at the time when the alcohol is flowing and you are having a laugh with your mates it seems the best idea!

5. Appearing on a TV show telling the British public a story entitled "what's the strangest thing you have ever done for money". Yes it was a saucy tale - but maybe not that saucy!! Hmmm I don't regret appearing on the Lily Allen show and telling my story - afterall out of this good idea me and my friend got a free night in a hotel, free drink at the bar and £50 it is just that with You Tube (yes the clip is on there!) one day my son could be embarrassed by his mother's antics!

There are 5 out of possibly hundreds of examples of things that seemed a good idea at the time. Let's face it alcohol is normally behind most of these moments!!

Ok I am going to tag:

nickie72

YummyNo1

mummylimited

singlemummy.net

b4kersgirl

and the rules are as follows:

1. you have to thank the person that tagged you by tagging them back!

2. Use the picture in your post.

3. Tell everyone 5 things you did in your life that seemed like a good idea at the time!

4. Nominate 7 other people to do the same and link to there blogs.

5. Let the people you have nominated know.

Pen-ed Up Frustration

I did something yesterday for the first time in ages. Something that I used to do on a very regular basis. Something i used to enjoy doing. I wrote a letter! Yes, I actually put pen to paper and wrote on a piece of paper! I am so use to typing letters, sending emails and text messages that it felt really weird penning a letter! Infact my handwriting, which I always thought was very neat and tidy, looked kind of scrawly like I had not written for a while.

It appears I am not alone in this lack of letter writing practice. On last night's The One Show, the actress Hayley Mills was on saying how she is supporting a campaign to get children to write letters. Apparently according to a recent survey of 1800 children aged between 7 and 14, only 5% of them have ever actually put pen to paper and composed a letter. I think that is such a shame, and just proves that in a world filled with mobile phones and pc's the art of writing to people has died out.

When I was a child, I used to have penpals - I wrote to a girl in the Cook islands for several years (granted, I have now lost touch). When I moved to Devon aged 12 I wrote to my best friend that I left behind in Berkshire (we are still in touch even if it is now via FB!). I would always write thank you letters and write to my grandparents at least 4 times a year. Do youngsters write love letters anymore? I use to write to my ex boyfriends and would love to receive a letter from my boyfriend at the time, declaring his love for me !!

Even now I still write thank you letters but I must admit they tend to be typed! But I feel the difference is that I know how to write a letter - be it business or personal and I was taught how to do this at school ( is this exercise still carried out for today's children?). However, sadly it appears that a lot of children today do not know what it is like to send or possible even receive a handwritten letter.

I really hope Burton will learn the art of letter writing when he is older, and he will certainly be encouraged to write thank you letters if nothing else. I support Hayley Mills in trying to get children to have penpals and to write to each other instead of text, msn, email, facebook etc... and I hope she succeeds. However, sadly something tells me that in a world full of such technological methods of communication, which do not require needing to visit a letter box, and enables children to get an instant reply, letter writing will not become popular or catch on :-(

Thank you!

Following this weeks amazing comments I received regarding my entry in this weeks The Gallery and the promise I made myself that I would appear in more photos with my baby boy, I am adding this post as an update to show that I have been true to my word.

I was blown away by the lovely comments I received and it really made me feel more confident about myself . So much so that I took out my mobile phone and took some spur of the moment photos of Burton and I rolling around and laughing on the floor.

So, here are the results and thanks again for making me want to take them :-)

I even took one of me - au natural with no make up!!

The Gallery : Self Portrait - Me, My New Self And My Baby

This week's Gallery theme over at Sticky Fingers is entitled Self Portrait - a daunting idea in itself!

As with so many first time parents, we have taken sooooo many photos of Burton since he was born which is a lovely collection of memories. Among the huge collection are some which feature me as well but I have found it hard liking the image of myself looking back at me because I felt self conscious of my new body image. As with any Mummy I am sure I am not alone in not relishing my new shape completely, most days it does not bother me but every now and then, especially when I have struggled to fit into some of my old clothes, I have felt a little fed up. Hence, seeing myself in photos and indeed posing for photos has been hard sometimes.

Don't get me wrong, I am not meaning to sound vain and I know that I am silly for feeling this way because in the bigger scheme of things it is very trivial. I am also not doing this to get lots of comments to make me feel better about myself - I am just trying to explain how I have felt and still do feel every now and then. I am sure I am not alone on this.

However, thanks to this weeks Gallery, I have gone back through all of the photos that have been taken over the last 10 months with a more positive approach and I can honestly admit that a couple of photos which I thought I hated of myself I now like. I also wish now that I had had more taken with Burton because not that many of the two of us were taken really, as I avoided the camera so much! I now regret that very much.

I have also noticed that I have no recent photos of just me - so my entries this week are of me holding Burton as I have no true 'Self Portraits' of myself by myself.

Burton and I when he was 1 hour old (I had been awake for 48 hours at this point!)

Burton and me when he was about 2 weeks old (feeling so, so tired!)

Me and Burton when he was about 6 weeks old (Daddy wanted to test out some new camera equipment so we had to 'pose')

Most recent photo of the 2 of us - taken back in March which is too long for the last photo of us together to have been taken. Even here I am trying to avoid looking at the camera!

One of my favourite photos of me and my boy taken in feb which some of you may have seen on my twitter profile - and look I am smiling and looking at the camera!! (but then I am hidden under my big coat and had just had my hair cut!)

So thank you for making me revisit the photos and realise that I should not hide these photos anymore! I am also going to make sure that from now on more photos are taken with ME in them .

What's In A Name?

Funnily enough, whilst writing this I came across a post today by yummymummyno1 ,who is asking if any of us blogging parents have ever regretted the names we have given our children, as a recent study has shown that apparently 1 in 5 of us do - which is a lot. I do believe that choosing the name for your child is a BIG deal and it is important to get it right, because that child has to live with your decision for the rest of their lives.

I did not know the sex of my baby until he was born. To start with my boyfriend and I each compiled a list of boys and girls names - I wrote down 10 of each and he only managed 2! It is strange because for years my chosen names were always going to be Scarlet (named after my all time favourite film heroine Scarlet O'Hara from GWTW) and Joshua for a boy (I loved that name from the first time I had heard of it which was when I watched the film Big ). However, in the end we decided upon Isobel and Jack - which were the only 2 names we were able to agree on, and we told people when asked if we had chosen names.

However, about 2 months before my due date we both started to doubt the name Jack - although we both loved the name and felt it was a strong name, it is just soooo popular and we did not want to end up in a situation where by the time our son went to school there would be a classroom full of Jacks!

So then we tried to find another one that we both liked - which was VERY hard as we both had different ideas on what a good boys name is! Logan was a contender until one night, whilst watching an American sitcom, a character came on called Burton, and although it took a few days for us both to come to the same realisation, we just really liked the name because it is so unusual and ,well, we both just loved it! Also, up until finding this name I had kind of been hoping that my unborn baby would be a girl - even though I kind of had a feeling it was a boy all along - but once the name Burton became a contender I sooo hoped it was a boy afterall, because I did not anyone else to use that name before we got the chance.

Here are a some facts about the name Burton:

1. The name is still used in America in fact Burt Reynolds and Burt Lancaster were both born Burton

2. It ranks 25,000 and something in the top boys names list (who could believe that so many names exist!)

3. In olde english Burton means fortified settlement

Therefore, without meaning to we chose a name which is unusual and yet it is not too modern (eg, named after a fruit!). In fact, it's really an old fashioned name and yet it does not seem like it because it is so uncommon. I also doubt very much that Burton will attend school or college with any other name- alikes!

Jon and I do not regret our choice in the name Burton - we just love it so much and when we tell people his name they always comment on it. The only trouble with telling people his name, is that other people may like it and decide to use it to name their baby boys. Plus it puts pressure on us to make sure that the name we choose for our next child, will be as good and not one we regret!

So why did you choose the name/names you gave your child/children? Would love to hear your stories :-)

My Biggest Fear

I have been tagged in my first meme by Emma at MeThe ManAndBaby (toad in the hole? I love it!) so I am hoping that this is how a meme works :-0

I actually have more than one fear and I guess in order of how afraid they make me, their order is:

1. Dying

2. Spiders

3. Descending Escalators

The first 2 fears have been with me for as long as I can remember, and I guess are pretty self explanatory.

However, the 3rd one is a newish one which I guess I have suffered with for about 6 years now. I don't think I am really scared by an escalator going down - I just cannot step onto it! I can go up an escalator but when it comes to going back down I cannot do it! I have to look around for some stairs or a lift! I think I am afraid that I will fall over maybe ? because I am rather accident prone and clumsy!!At least at the moment while Burton is still in a pushchair I can use a lift, but what will happen once he is walking?

I know that with all my fears, it is important not to influence my son incase he develops the same fears (I am sure my spider phobia comes from my nan who hates spiders, and made such a fuss whenever one was near her). However, I do not know how I will overcome the escalator fear (any ideas? I can do it if someone is with me and I am holding onto them and we walk on in synch!). Poor kid - he will have an embarrassing Mummy who will need his help to step onto an escalator instead of me assisting him!!!

I am going to tag:

CrystalJigsaw

MummyOutnumbered

So please reveal your fears...........ooooh er!!

The Gallery:Men

This is the first time I have entered the Sticky Fingers The Gallery so I hope I have managed to add this link correctly!!

When I saw that the title was 'Men' I wondered how I could ecapsulate that word into a photo. Then I remembered a photo which I hope sums it up pretty darn good!

I have chosen a photo which shows my boyfriend holding our newborn son an hour after he was born. I believe that this photo shows the moment he went from being simply a ' man' to a 'Daddy'. From this moment his life (as did mine!) changed and a part of him did also, as a softer side has emerged - not too much of course because he is a 'man' - but it has been lovely to see how over the last 10 months Jon has shown so much love towards his son and how proud he is of our boy. Burton looks a lot like his Daddy, and Jon has told me that sometimes when he looks at him, it is like looking into his own eyes. A grown man seeing the man our baby will become.

Men are different to us women - they tend to hide their emotions more whereas we tend to wear ours on our sleeves (more so since having a baby - mine have been sopping!!). However, the moment a man holds his newborn baby - a slight shift occurs, and beneath the cool, calm exterior that is so common to (most) men, a glimmer of hope is revealed. The hope a new life brings which makes you realise how much love you have for this little human being - an overwhelming sense of love, pride and responsibility all rolled into one. A realisation that from this moment on you are a man now - a grown up and things will never be the same again.

I believe my photo demonstrates this as Jon is still the same man, still with all the annoying traits he had before, but since 3.18am on Wednesday 15th July, 2009 he became a new man; a better man; a Daddy.

Penguin Update

For all you Penguin fans - just to let you know that he survived his 'bath' in the washing machine and here is the proof!!! Aaaaaah :-)

p p p p pick up a Penguin!

I have just stuck 'Penguin' in the washing machine.

Burton's beloved cuddly toy has gone for a much over due wash! The trouble is, I have no idea how it is going to appear after its encounter with the washing machine. I just hope that it will emerge intact so it can be returned to its little owner!

Burton loves Penguin - it was a Christmas present from my Dad, who is chuffed to bits that his grandson has taken so much to this soft toy. So much so in fact that he has bought a replacement one in case anything should happen to Penguin. A gesture which surprised me as my Dad is not the type to think of such things.

I am pleased that Burton loves Penguin as much as he does, because he has helped to get Burton to sleep in his cot for naps and at bed time. B's little face lights up whenever he sees his cuddly friend waiting for him in the cot. Which is another reason why I hope Penguin will survive his washing machine experience - otherwise what will I do at bedtime tonight???

Poor old Penguin was overdue a wash though, what with having a mixture of dribble, snot, bum cream etc... lovingly added to his exterior over the past few months - certain parts of him had become a tad crusty!

So I have 18 minutes left until the washing cycle ends - fingers crossed all will be well and Burton and Penguin can resume their bedtime, changing and playtime routines once more and Mummy can breathe a big sigh of relief! Oh and we will have a clean and crust free Penguin..........well for one day at least!!

Burton on a bike!!! alias Mr Sobersides :-)

I am re-cycling this post for Blog Gems in the hope that it will make the lovely Jen smile :)
It was Burton's first ride on a bike in his new helmet! Soooo funny due to his serious face!

Bedtime Blues

So I did it!

I moved out of B's bedroom at the weekend and back into mine after 6 1/2 months of sleeping near his cot, for night time feeds and being able to see aswell as hear him. I guess that after 9 1/2 months this may seem a long time to be absent from the same bedroom as my partner's, but I think it was the right thing to have done and I would probably do it all again.

B's room is on a different level to our bedroom and being a big baby he was out of his moses basket by 12 weeks and I felt it was too soon to let him sleep by himself, so I also moved into his bedroom when he made the big step of sleeping in his cot. Plus having to get up a couple of times in the night to b'feed him was made easier by only having to drag myself from the bed to the cot to the nursing chair, rather than face a flight of stairs and a landing at stupid o'clock each night.

Plus as time has gone on it has been lovely having him come in to bed with me after his morning feed, allowing us to have a cuddle and doze together before we get up each morning. Aswell as the occasional time when he has woken up in the night, and rather than have to wait for him to cry himself to sleep he has got into bed with me where funnily enough he could go back to sleep a lot more easily!

But during the last fortnight B has suddenly started going through the night better and going down in his cot without the need to cry for 30-60 mins (until I gave in and took him out I hasten to add!), so I knew that it was time for me to vacate his room and return to my own. I realised that I needed to face the fact that my baby needs his OWN room without his Mummy being there aswell. I know there will be times when I will be sleeping on the floor next to his cot when he is ill, but, for now, it was time to leave him be.

That first night (Saturday) I could have cried when I lay in my own bed upstairs - sounds daft I know but it just felt a bit sad that the night time bonding we shared for all his life to date was coming to an end. He was fine of course! At 4am I heard him whimper slightly through the baby monitor and although he went back to sleep until 5.15am and then again until 6am, I did not - old habits die hard don't they?